Every aspect of the day was cardiac arrest. The new, heavy (and expensive) books. The desk that my 6 foot 2 inch tall body was sardined into. The terms and phrases being tossed around, that everyone else somehow understood, yet I felt like a tall, exhausted fish not only out of water, but in a frying pan.
This was my first day of college.

It’s important for me to give a little context here. I dropped out of high school at 16 to become a full-time musical theater performer. I struggled immensely to make rent in my late teens and early twenties. I was now one month away from turning 25 and decided to finally start my longtime goal of pursuing a college degree.
I was at least six years older than most of my classmates and often the oldest person in the room until the professor entered.

It was clear that first day that I some had catching up to do. Pluto Is no longer a planet? Evolution being taught open and honestly? But, the most Important lesson I learned that day was that a Jansport was no longer the standard backpack to student life.

and there I was with mine…..bright yellow.

This bright yellow Jansport was the symbol of the overall college experience I would endure.
It was behind the times, stuck out like sword in a cutting board, and In general went over as well as a hair In a biscuit.

It shined like the sun and was as essential as the sun. But like the sun, It was often unnecessarily a brute.
This eyesore of a backpack would stick by me through the most Influential years of my life. It was my partner in growth and learning.

Soon into that first day, my full blown banana of a backpack became a conversation piece. It would often lead to me explaining “see, when I was In high school this was THE backpack to carry” and “I guess I didn’t realize that this was no longer a thing”. This would often act as an Icebreaker that made me comfortable talking to my much younger classmates. So much so, that my second week In, when I found myself almost too overwhelmed to continue, I decided to ask one of them for help. I was shocked at how eager they were to oblige.
It takes courage to ask for help. Asking for help from someone younger than you is sometimes a matter of compromising internal pride.

These younger classmates accepted me. Yellow Jansport and all. Without the comfort given to me through this sunkissed accessory, I wouldn’t have made It through my first semester of college.
This backpack was to me, as Dumbo’s magic feather was to him. It became an almost over romanticized definition of my persona.

This was the first lesson my yellow Jansport taught me.

1.Help is almost always given to those who ask for It.

About 2 years into my college experience, I awoke In the night with a new idea. “I’m going to be a nurse.” Everyone who knew me will now openly discuss how bad of an idea they knew this was at the time, but not wanting to discourage my educational journey, they became cheerleaders of falsehood.

I tried nursing school for almost two years. I spent my nights and weekends in the emergency room and in the back of ambulances. I went through 5 pairs of scrubs a semester. I almost graduated with a nursing degree. Every classroom lab, every emergency room, and every ambulance, I was accompanied by my lemon zest friend.
I was not prepared for the emotional toll that nursing was going to take on me. One day, as quickly as the idea came on, the idea came off. I knew that this was not where I was meant to be, but I loved college. Admitting that you have made a bad decision Is never easy (especially for us Libra’s). I had given so much, and this all just seemed like great big fail.

I wanted to continue my education. Even though I had exhausted myself by giving something my all that wasn’t meant for me, I knew I was resilient enough to move forward. Just like my yellow Jansport, it didn’t matter how tired and beat up we were, nor how long the journey was going to take. We were both resilient enough to bounce back, and do what we were meant to do.

This was the second lesson my yellow Jansport taught me.

2. Changing your mind for the better is not a cop out.

About 2 years back into studying journalism, my Spongebob colored friend by my side, I finally felt once again like I was on the right track. I was chosen to give speeches on behalf of my University, I was asked to write for the college’s very prestigious monthly magazine, and I was even offered several fun and Interesting Internships.
But, the big moment was coming. At the end of my junior year, I scored what seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime. An Internship with CNN. That’s right! Me and my loyal squash-like friend would be heading to CNN during an election year!

A big break! My senior year of college, interning at CNN. When It came time to apply for jobs, I would be fresh In their minds, ready to seize each and every day.

Tragedy struck. COVID-19. One month before this internship started, the city of Atlanta (and most of the country) completely shut down. CNN announced that all Internships were put on hold… “indefinitely”.
Once again, I felt lost. I spent my senior year of college not once entering a single classroom or lecture hall. I attended Zoom classes that consisted of dogs barking and children crying. I was all out of hope.
I graduated In May of 2021. My best friends threw a party for me following my graduation ceremony, which consisted of masks and stadium seating. No stage, no graduation walk, but a slideshow of our pictures as we remained stationary In our seats.

My senior year, as well as my graduation ceremony, seemed lackluster. I had worked so hard. All the nights I spent cramming, all the times I showed up to class out of breath from running to get there on time, all the times I spent $800 on a book that we didn’t use, only to resell it for $150.

My friends didn’t feel this way. With only three of us In attendance, they made me feel like I was on top of the world. Like every move I had made over the past 4, no 5, no 6 years had been worth It. THIS was my graduation.
It didn’t even occur to me until that night when I got home, that for a solid year, I had not once touched my golden canvas friend. It’s somehow beautifully symbolic.

The entire time I had been forced to stay home, so had my yellow Jansport. Unbeknownst to me, my blonde bombshell companion had been there with me all along. Remaining stationary, as I had.
This was the third lesson my yellow Jansport taught me.

3. Support comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s friends who have your back, and sometimes it’s friends who sit upon it.

While much of the focus on public health for the past two years has heavily focused on COVID-19 cases and vaccinations, Moderna has also been working something truly mind-blowing.

The reason this potential and currently experimental vaccine is so groundbreaking is due to the worlds decades long stigma with HIV and AIDS. Although the virus is no longer a death sentence as it was in the 1980’s and early 1990’s, there are many people today living with HIV. While current and modernized medical advances have made care for the virus much greater, it’s amazing to imagine a world where it no longer exists.

Originally referred to as “the gay cancer”, the AIDS virus certainly affected people of all cultural backgrounds but was a particularly harsh stigma amongst the LGBTQ+ community. There are new medications developed that can be taken for preventative pre-exposure which is also groundbreaking in itself. However, often time this medication can be quite expensive, as well as treatment for those living with HIV.

The Moderna vaccine would not only create a a world where the stigma is left behind, it would also create safety precautions for those unable to receive support for Pre-exposure Prophylaxis.

According to the US National Institute of Health Clinical Trials registry, Phase 1 of the trial will involve the experimental testing of vaccinating 56 HIV- adults aged 18-50.

In a time where health related news is often overwhelming, this is certainly a light at the end of a different tunnel. I will be reaching out to professionals related to the trials for further information and updates.

Since the day they began dating, Jonathon Crause was fearful that his positive HIV status would affect the health of his partner. Eight years later, his partner began Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and now they could not be more at ease. 

            “I found out I was HIV+ shortly before my 22^nd birthday. Needless to say, it was the worst birthday I’ve ever had. My friends had thrown this party and I just wanted to cry. I felt like I couldn’t talk to any of them about it without judgment” says Jonathon, now 33 years old with an undetectable viral load. 

            Jonathon eventually came to peace with his HIV status through therapy and group support. About one year after Jonathon was diagnosed as HIV positive, he met his future partner at a party thrown by a mutual friend. 

            “I saw him and wasn’t going to talk to him. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I truly didn’t think there was a chance that knowing my status he would give me the time of day, but to my surprise he came and spoke to me, and asked me out on a date. On our first date, I told him point blank, and he just looked at me and said ‘no worries’ and the rest is history.”

            Although the two always practiced safe-sex, Jonathon was still extremely concerned about the health of his partner, even 2 years after the pair moved in together. 

            “Obviously, if there were anything I could change, it would be my HIV status” says Jonathon. 

            Jonathan was determined to help his now husband stay as healthy as possible for the duration of their relationship. “There was always this thought like, if he came home and told me he was positive, I know he wouldn’t blame me, but I would blame me. I would be devastated.” says Jonathon. 

            Jonathon is one of 1.1 million people living with HIV in the United States. Jonathon and Andrew sought help from Atlanta based HIV specialists at AbsoluteCare Clinic. AbsoluteCare provides counseling and financial help for those seeking out preventative treatment, with help from the Gilead program, a program dedicated to helping those in need of the medication receive it at an appropriate cost. Many insurance companies do not cover the costs of preventative treatment, as it is often labeled as high-risk sexual activity. 

            Dacenta Grice, a safe-sex counselor with AbsoluteCare clinic, has been dedicated to helping those living with HIV for over 10 years.

            “The counseling process is difficult at first. I have to talk them through different sexual activities, alert them of the different risks, and reassure them that while this medication is extremely effective, it does not replace condoms. Always, always, always, use a condom.” says Dacenta. 

            The Gilead program has almost 30 years of dedication to fighting life threatening diseases. You do not have to have an HIV positive partner to enroll in the Gilead program to receive Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, however couples with different HIV statuses are the targeted group. 

            “Honestly PrEP is the best thing that ever happened to us. It puts my mind at ease knowing there are now better chances that he will remain healthy” says Jonathan.  

            If it weren’t for AbsoluteCare and the Gilead program, Jonathon and his partner would not be able to afford the Truvada medication. Without insurance or financial help, a one-month supply of daily dosed Truvada costs around $1,300. PReP is also a long-term commitment, as scientific studies have shown that once starting the medication, it’s best to continue taking it, making the treatment quite costly. 

            “He and I are both big Disney fans, and ‘hakuna matata’ means ‘no worries’, which is what he said to me on our first date. When we got married in 2017, we both somehow worked the phrase ‘hakuna matata’ into our wedding vows without the other knowing, and without ever acknowledging the phrase.” says Jonathon. 

            “It just means that this was supposed to happen. We were supposed to find each other and are meant to have a healthy relationship without fear. That’s all that matters to us.”

            After becoming homeless as a teenager, Kimberly Waters thought her life was over. “I didn’t want to be alive. I knew I was different, and the world was never going to accept me as I was, and I just didn’t want to deal with it,” says Waters. Waters would later graduate at the top of her class at Georgia State University with a degree in music, as well as becoming a successful real estate agent in Atlanta. 

            Waters is one of the 1.6 million people who became homeless as a teenager, a statistic very common within the LGBTQ community. Waters found refuge in the Atlanta based organization Lost-n-Found. Lost-n-Found provides help to homeless youth with finding food, shelter, showers, hygiene supplies, STD testing, computer access for job searching, and access to emergency clothing from the Lost-n-Found Thrift and Consignment Shop. The thrift and consignment shop is a place for donation in clothes and money, with all proceeds helping to put a stop to homeless LGBTQ youth. 

            “If you would have told me at 18 that I would be where I am, I would think you were making fun of me,” says Waters. Waters has lived he majority of her life as a woman, “I’ve always felt that I was a woman, even when I was very young. My parents were always very supportive, and didn’t mind the clothes I wore, as long as I was being myself,” says Waters. 

            In 2013, Waters lost both of her parents unexpectedly. Her siblings were not willing to support her transgendered identity as her parents did. Waters was able to work and support herself through college, but shortly after graduating had to leave her campus dorm and check into a homeless shelter. 

            “It’s dangerous for someone like me. They wouldn’t let me stay with the women because I wasn’t born a woman, but if I stayed with the men, I wouldn’t have made it out alive,” says Waters. Waters’ fear didn’t allow her to stay for more than one week. On her last day at the homeless shelter, a caseworker told her about Lost-n-Found Youth. 

            Lost-n-Found in a non-profit organization based in Atlanta, Georgia. Founded in 2011, it is now a high functioning help center for homeless LGBTQ youth in Atlanta. Lost-n-Found specializes in teens and young adults aged between 16-25. 

            Waters met with a now retired social worker and employee by Lost-n-Found who helped her find shelter at the Lost-n-Found Youth Center. Within two weeks Waters was sent on her first job interview to work the front desk for a real estate company. Six years later, Waters is now the head agent for the same company. 

            “Some of the stories I hear would blow your mind, but what’s really shocking are the success stories. You see a kid come through here and the look on their face is just hopeless, then they leave with a job, and regardless of the job, it gives them hope,” says John Truett, an employee of the Lost-n-Found thrift store and former member of the board of directors. 

            “I know I’m strong. I won’t say that I would have died without them, but they’re why I’m here. They’re the reason that I’m doing as good as I’m doing,” says Waters.